Hakuna Matata

have i gone frigid?

Sometimes, you come into a point where in you question things that is happening around you. Things beyond your comprehension. Oh well, i don’t think anybody can explain what LIFE really is.

Like right now… I don’t know what’s going on with me.

I hate to admit it but i’m a certified NBSB. I am turning 21 and yes i am still single. ~~Never been kissed~~, Never been touched. It is an embarrassment for some but i don’t feel it that way. Maybe because it’s kind of a CHOICE in my case. I don’t have a boyfriend not because no one likes me or nobody ask for it. I don’t have a boyfriend because I don’t want to settle for less. (wow lang ha! hahaha). I have liked guys, i have gone out with them actually. But i easily get turned off once I discover something about them that i don’t like. Do i have that unreachable standard? Maybe. But i cannot say that I won’t consider forgetting about those. Sabi nga nila, when you found that person you forget whatever rule you have established for yourself. And I believe that i just haven’t found The One yet.

But as time passes by, i’m starting to feel like i’m half-empty when it should be half-full. I’m getting more uninterested with guys i meet each passing day. Is it because i’m spending too much of my time watching tv and net surfing that i didn’t notice that my standards are getting higher? Ang pogi na lang kasi sa kin ngayon e si Ian Somerhalder, Josh Dallas and of course Brad Pitt.

HAVE I REALLY GONE FRIGID?

OTHER SYMPTOMS:

My long time crush made a deal with me. He was supposed to give me a kiss and i let it slipped away. Oh well, it was merely a text message and he did not insist. I’m not a chasing type and sure is not easy after all. I don’t know if i felt any regrets though. It was more like, “Okay. Whatever. Move on”.

I had a midnight snack with this guy i like. We actually have exchanged messages first before that. And I stopped talking to him after that night. It was like it didn’t happen, it was like i never knew him. I changed my number and i never informed him about it. I even stopped going to church just to avoid him. It felt like something got into me and i decided that i don’t want him in my life and so i shut him off. But we’re still facebook friends. :)

There are guys who were asking for my number. It’s either I give it to them out of courtesy (my real number in fairness! haha but i don’t reply to any of their text messages) or I don’t give any digit at all. Just like what happened last thursday night. Yung guitarist nung band and the other guy out of nowhere. Well in my defense, i am just saving them from me, from my wrath. I can really be crazy sometimes.

I can’t stand talking to a guy whose intentions are beyond what i can handle. There are guys whom i would converse with because i know he just wants to talk and be friends with me but if it goes beyond that that’s when i freak out. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate men. I’m not even a lesbian. I just feel uncomfortable flirting with someone i don’t like or i like to be just friends with.

What ya think??? :D